Sometimes I feel like a motherless child.

Sometimes I feel as though I have led a most insipid and destructive life. At my age I had wished like my friends to have gained something on my own. But as situations would have it I only occupy the place I once thought mine to have and hold close. I need honest brutal assessments that I may make this last operative ten years something I might look back upon as a time better spent, better taken advantage of. I think. But I mostly think of me. I have to crush my heart to restart by admitting to those I have forgotten that I have truly not. I am just self absorbed and so isolated that no one comes to shake me loose. I am draining away like this. So the infection must be absorbed and the healing exposed. or I loose for the last time.
this was to be a blog exposing other injustices destructive to my existence not my own self inflicted disgraces..Just dump ones self out there and watch the crew flew. No one digs this shit but the shit digger. He's just stuck in it, z'all